Types of Violence

Gender-based violence, including violence between intimate partners or family members, can be physical, sexual, emotional, or financial in nature, and in many cases, becomes more frequent and more severe over time. Often, the abuse is a way to gain power and control over you.

Physical

Gender-based violence does not always include physical abuse. When it does, it can include someone slapping, pushing, punching, kicking, strangling, or smothering you. It can also include someone threatening you with weapons, interrupting your sleep, throwing things at you, destroying your property, hurting or killing your pet, restricting your movement, or denying you medical treatment.

Sexual

Abuse can include using sexual acts, either obviously or subtly, to make you feel ashamed or humiliated. Sexual abuse can include someone forcing or pressuring you to have sex, making you feel fearful about saying no to sex, forcing you to have sex with other people, forcing you to participate in sexual acts that you find hurtful or harmful, using violence or calling you names during sex, denying you contraception or protection from sexually transmitted diseases, or sharing private photos or videos without your permission.

Emotional

Emotional abuse can include someone constantly putting you down or criticizing you, calling you names, making you feel crazy, acting superior to you, blaming you for their behavior, threatening you or making you feel fearful, isolating you from your family or friends, acting overly jealous, accusing you of cheating, and watching where you go and who you talk to. It can also include someone trying to control you by threatening to hurt themselves if they don’t get what they want.

Financial

Financial abuse can include someone trying to control you by giving you an allowance, not letting you have your own money, hiding your family assets, running up your debt, interfering with your job or education, or ruining your credit.

If a person is doing any of this to you, please reach out for help.

Staying Safe

If you are in immediate danger, you should call 911. If you feel that your safety is at risk, you should call the Illinois Domestic Violence Hotline (877.863.6338) and tell them you need to create a safety plan.

If you are experiencing domestic violence, sexual violence, trafficking, and/or stalking:

• Think about people and organizations who will support you and then share information about your situation with someone you trust.
• Think about and practice how you would get out of the house safely.
• Prepare a bag with extra clothes and key documents for you and/or your children.
• Make copies of key documents and your keys, and leave them with a trusted friend.
• Decide on a code word to use with children or your friends to let them know you are in danger and that they should call 911.
• Keep any evidence of abuse, such as: photos of bruises or cuts, ripped clothing, or damaged property; threatening voicemails, texts, emails, or social media messages; and medical or police records. Keep these in a safe place, make sure you have extra copies, and leave extra copies with an individual you trust.

Supporting Others

The most important step you can take when someone tells you what they’re going through is to LISTEN and BELIEVE them. Show that you are non-judgmental and supportive of them.

You can educate yourself about common types of abuse, challenges survivors face, and the dynamics of power and control.

And you can call the Illinois Domestic Violence Helpline for more ideas and resources: 877.863.6338.